Grief recovery is about healing a broken heart.
If we don't heal our broken heart, we move on with all the feelings and thoughts of our loss stuffed somewhere in our mind and body and heart. Everything is compromised—relationships, health, and aliveness.
Any of the over forty major losses—including divorce, death of a loved one, and loss of health, money, friendship, partnerships, job, trust, or respect—brings about a myriad of unwanted changes and conflicting thoughts and feelings. Grief is not just sadness; it is the pain of unspoken emotions like anger, love, sorrow for things said and unsaid, resentment, relief, and fear, to name a few, that can overwhelm even the strongest of us. We try to get on with our life by keeping busy. We replace the loss and hope it will all work out.
But we carry the weight of all the unresolved feelings and thoughts. With this mountain of overwhelm, we do our best to keep going. Is it any wonder that we lose our emotional honesty and aliveness?
Think for a moment of one of the relationships in your life that you keep thinking about. You know the conversations in your head with that person. These emotional communications need to be expressed outside of your head, but not necessarily with the other person.
We need to express the apologies, the forgiveness, and the emotional statements such as gratitude that surface as we tell the truth to ourselves about the pain we may be in. We need to express out loud to a willing witness, someone who really listens to us, not to give advice or any kind of wisdom or even empathy. Just 100% listening...being the witness to what we say. Our hearts feel heard. The truth gets told. And then healing can start.
We might feel anger, which may move to regret, then maybe to the pain of not being together with our loved one, then perhaps to love and forgiveness, both of the other and of ourself. We heal when the conflicted emotions are expressed and heard, and a simple peacefulness of sadness is felt.
Grief is about a broken heart. Broken hearts, like physical wounds, can be healed. Healing starts with telling the truth about the pain you feel.
If you have had a recent loss or feel some unresolved grief from past losses, please contact me. If you are tired of thinking about your losses and are prepared to take action in order to recover your energy and aliveness, schedule a call with me.